Just In Time For Christmas

Bret Says: 272.  Up 3 pounds.  Well that sucks.  I was actually only up a half a pound until yesterday, and then schizo scale had to jump that up after the one day I ate like a normal human.

Seriously.  The only thing I did well this week was that I didn't do any late night snacking.  This is because by 4 PM I had already consumed 16 pounds of turkey and was long ago passed out in some uncomfortable position near the kitchen table.

There was only one night that I did not have turkey, stuffing, and mashed potatoes as my main (and huge) meal.  One night, for whatever reason, all I had for dinner was pumpkin pie.

I'm sorry, I wrote that wrong.  All I had for dinner was A pumpkin pie.

You see, honestly, I am not a sweets person.  I mean they are good, but I far more crave the taste of some hormone injected dead farm animal.  That's what gets my engine running.  Not eating chocolate, or ice cream, or anything like that was simple for me.  No cravings at all.

But pumpkin pie I will kill for.

I need to get back on the ball, and soon.  This is supposed to be the one thing I cannot allow myself to lose at.  I want to live a long, healthy, energy filled life.  God help me if I end up like these other four pathetic saps.


Lorraine Says: Why am I not surprised Bret prefers meat to sweets? And just so that we're clear, he's working 7 days a week, 12 hours a day, no break. He doesn't get laid. He doesn't drink. He eats whole pies for dinner and is GAINING weight. But us four are the pathetic losers?

I think I'm doing the math wrong.

You do realize that by the time you eat through the world's supply of Thanksgiving leftovers, it'll be time for Christmas, right?

Guilt, Pork and What Bret Needs More

Lorraine Says: Stinky Fish Bret made a comment yesterday about this all turning into a celebration of our flab. I don't think so, but as I sat here today, wondering what to write that wouldn't essentially be Bear and Lily's failure posts combined, I sort of saw his point.

I ate a lot on Thanksgiving. And I didn't even set out to eat a lot. I thought I would be okay just taking tiny portions of all the different things I wanted to eat. I wasn't okay. I couldn't even pack any leftover when all was said and done because just the sight of food made me want to barf.

The next day, I was still pretty turned off by food so I didn't eat anything, until dinner time. By then, I had gotten so hungry, that I ate my face off again.

So, here's the trouble: falling back into the pattern I'd set up for myself. I've started again, lots of water, better foods, less chocolate, etc, but I still feel the disappointment of Thanksgiving hovering around me.

Like I said yesterday, I'm refusing to get on a scale. So, what's the positive in all this? GUILT.

I feel bad when I don't eat like I should. I feel bad when there is no progress. For a girl who would openly eat Hershey Almond bars for breakfast in front of her co-workers, guilt certainly is a different feeling.


Lily says: Guilt is such a Catholic thing. *prays a rosary*

And I wasn't a fail. I mean. I didn't eat the pork. But I'm sure Bret ate enough pork for all of us.

The Wife Says: I think it's a Southern thing, too. Which is especially messed up in a culture that forces you to eat ALL THE TIME.

Lorraine Says: Well, I'm not Catholic. And I do live in south Florida but calling this the south is pretty wrong. Guys, I think it's just good old fashioned, "hey maybe eating an entire box of zebra cakes isn't good for me" guilt.

PARTY!

Anyone have a single zebra cake?


Lily Says: I bought a twinkie so I could throw it at this kid in my Spanish class. He didn't go. So you want that?

Wifey Says: I think we all have to take charge of the guilt thing. When I start feeling guilty about my eating habits, that's when I'm on the road to throwing in the towel. "I'm never going to change" etc.
We're having to unlearn years of self-imposed bad behavior (although it sounds like our backgrounds didn't help any). ANY step is a step in the right direction.

Lorraine Says: Lily offers me a twinkie and Wife offers me magical words of wisdom. THAT, ladies and gents, is why Blogging Blobs is amazing.

Lily Says:  I offer treats because I care.

The Great Tickler of Women and Fish Bret Says: While sitting down and reading today's thoughts I decided to have a piece of chocolate.  This week has been a complete disaster, but I was watching Good Morning America and they had some expert in something who gave out millions of pieces of advice.  The main one was "For the week of Thanksgiving and week and a half around Christmas, quit the diet.  You are going to do it anyway, so it's not worth the guilt of failing."

Thus my diet starts anew tomorrow, runs for a few weeks, and then the period of gluttony takes over again.

I just can't take all of the guilt that I am feeling for this week.  Maybe Lor can, because she has endured and gotten used to a lifetime of failures.  Maybe Lily can, because she is able to replace pork with getting porked repeatedly, but I just can't do it.  So I'm going to have another piece of chocolate.


Lily Says: I call it CARDIO, not "getting porked". Duhhhh! Also, eat some Chick Fil-A like a man.


The Bear Monk Says: We're getting kind of deep into this aren't we?  Guilt can really do a number on us all.  We feel guilty about over eating and as most of us are likely emotionally eaters, we will in turn eat to ease our guilt.  And so the cycle continues.

I'm with you on this whole take a week off thing Bret, but that shouldn't mean that we cave in to gorging ourselves on whatever we'd like.


The Fishiest of all that Fish Says: I don't understand Bear, my entire diet philosophy has been to NOT gorge myself whenever I'd like.  Thus taking a week off means that I will literally be stealing candy from babies.

I think the important thing is to not quit exercising.  I say this in a week in which I all but quit exercising. 


Lily Says: So you're going to quit exercising next week?

Blah Blah Blah Fish Says:  Actually I just need to make sure I DO exercise.  Work has been so busy that I skipped my usual lunchtime walk...and then still worked an extra half an hour at the end of the day.  730-630 without a break?  That's how I live!


Lorraine Says: So basically you work all day with no breaks, have an imaginary girlfriend, occasionally tickle ovaries and love your Grandfather's sausage?

Have another piece of chocolate Bret.

You know, I'm feeling better already.


Lily Says: Lor, can I have that twinkie back? I think Bret needs it more.

Can I start over?

Lily says: I'm deathly afraid of stepping on the scale this week. Thanksgiving extravaganza was horrible. There was too much food and what not. And it was pointless do Ethiopian Diet the weeks leading up to T-gives. Not to mention that there were no Lily-friendly foods at our table. I don't eat pork. And freaking people in my family decide "well 2010 Thanksgiving is ALL PORK-GIVING". Gee, thanks. Assholes. So I ate nothing but mashed potatoes and arroz con gandules (which threw me for a loop, I didn't know I was now Puerto Rican).

So let's start over.

Egg white omelette for breakfast. GO!

TBM says: I assume when you say what not, you mean vodka...and seriously, no pork?  What other reason do we have to shamble along through this meaningless triviality called life then to consume mass quantities of smoked, baked, or fried pork?

Lily Says: yeah no pork. pork = gross. I hate the way it smells when it's being cooked.

Stupid Face-Breeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeead AKA Bret says: bad memories of when your older cousin made you do horrible things to him while cooking up some pig?

 

Oh, and this week has really made me open up my eyes about this blog.  I think instead of weight loss it should turn into a celebration of being fat.

Lor says: It certainly isn't a celebration. I mean, we all enjoy food, sex and some of us even like booze, but I'm not sure anyone is thrilled about being overweight. 

We feel bad for our ways, Bret. I mean, I do. You might be happy. Does this mean you have sausage in your mouth again?

RIP Turkey Day

Witless says:
I guess I get the wonderful privilege of being the first fail post of the week.  I'm sure we'll all have horror stories of various degrees, which will probably start a horrible spiral until Christmas. (Except for maybe Lor, who I think might already be dead).

This week was rough, but not as bad as I expected it to be, really.  We visited my Dad in the Fried Belt AKA the south, where you can even get your butter deep fried (no, really, they have it here at fairs).  We ate out a lot more than we have been in the past, but for the most part I choose to have things that weren't bad for me.  I avoided fried foods for the most part, except when we went to Raising Caines, and choose healthy side items when possible or even opted for no side at all.

I did completely fall off the water wagon, drinking Diet Coke and Coke Zero almost the whole time.  And I do have to say, I actually miss non carbonated drinks.  If I don't have one for a couple of weeks, I really am ready to kill for it, but now I'm looking forward to having good water to drink (the water here is terrible tasting).

I've also completely fallen off the exercise wagon, and I really really miss it.  That's probably the biggest surprise of all.  I've felt draggy all week, and it wasn't just the turkey.  I'm ready to get back to the routine we've been building. I don't look forward to having to start all over again, but hopefully it'll get back to where I was before.

I've refused to look at the scale this week.  I'll give a numbers update next week, where I'm hoping to be where I was before we left. 

Lorraine says: 
Wait, when did I become the one who died? A girl has one bad week and you guys already kill her off.

I'm really excited to be on this side of Thanksgiving. Sure, Christmas is around the corner, but my family will be out of town and I feel like that'll be a much more manageable hurdle. I feel all icky after this last week. My body is rebelling against the calories and -shock- soda.

I'm not dead though. I'm still alive and in this. And soon enough I'll be back in spirits to declare myself as the winner. As for now, I'm gonna go decide whether I want to gym or paint my nails.

After Thanksgiving. Honest.

Lorraine Says: To sum up my week: FAIL.

 

There is no lying to you, to the diet gods, to the Ethiopians or to my scale who remained unmoved and might have even rolled its eyes at me.

 

This week was a diet fail. I wasn't even trying. Yeah, yeah, two or so weeks in and I sort of gave up. I have a Play-doh will and dandelion self-control. I've been surrounded by friends and family this past week and all anyone wants to do is flippin' eat. It's not even Thanksgiving yet and I'm in charge of making all the dessert. Do you see where I'm going with this?

 

Anyways, I did at least learn a lesson from my fall from diet victory this week: I need to get back to the gym. Just cutting out zebra cakes isn't going to help me reach my goal. Plus, I obviously haven't cut zebra cakes, I just started buying the Christmas tree ones. I have the least amount of weight to lose and really a lot of it is tightening up the flab. The gym will be my best friend.

 

After Thanksgiving.


Lily Says: For some reason, I anticipate Bret or whatever his new name is, making this about him. *Sits and waits*

Are you making homemade zebra cakes for dessert? Or are you going to just place unwrapped zebra cakes on a tray?


Lorraine Says: I wish that would fly! Unfortunately, the stuff I'll be baking will be much, much worse than zebra cakes.


Tricky Fish Says: Well thank you for that intro lily, I just read it after my 45+ minute walk with my girlfriend.  During this walk I also did not eat any zebra cakes.  Of course that's enough about me.

Lor, don't think of your week as a fail.  Think of it as a win.  You win the most pathetic award.  You write with 4 different people that are way larger than you, and yet you are the worst at controlling your eating habits.  That's really something.

Just think, as you get older and your metabolism gets worse and you start getting really big you can get on disability and make the government deliver chocolate to your house for FREE.

I see a bright future for you.  Bright in the sense that you will one day fly in an airplane that cannot support your mass and the ensuing wreckage will light up the night sky.  I hear fat is very flammable.

Happy Thanksgiving.  I hope you eat a thigh bigger than your own. 

Lily Says: I'm trying to mentally prepare for the amount of food that will be presented to me on Thursday, AKA: Kill a Turkey Day, or the day the Pilgrims killed the Indians in the first basketball game.

I lost another stupid pound.

Just one. WTF. This is what happens when I go out drinking. Though I haven't ate all week, I'll decide to drink those calories, get super  shit faced and feel like shit the next morning.

I hope the Turkey Gods help me not overeat turkey.

Tricky Fish Says: I don't know what you are complaining about with this only lost a pound stuff.  In a normal week you gain what, 12 pounds?  I think losing a pound is pretty darn good for you, even though it's the equivalent of bear having a mole removed.

Lorraine Says: Maybe it's all the promise of mass amounts of food, but I've been out of form lately. As much as I would love to pick on Lily for being a lush or for only losing a pound or I dunno, that booze-stained shirt I love so much, I'm just so happy about food. REAL FOOD. Turkey. And maybe even some drink that isn't water. And OMG, did I mention FOOD?

 

Obviously, I'm distracted.

 

Now, what is Tricky babbling about? He wants to eat Bear and have a mole removed?

 

FOOD. 

Witless Says: Thanksgiving is glorious!

Do you want to hear my healthy living compromise for Thursday?  We're only having sugar free chocolate pie for dessert.  No pumpkin, no pecan, just one dessert.

Hey, we all have to start somewhere, right?

TBM Says: Personally I feel like the whole no pumpkin pie thing is bullshit.  Pumpkins are super healthy after all.