Can I start over?

Lily says: I'm deathly afraid of stepping on the scale this week. Thanksgiving extravaganza was horrible. There was too much food and what not. And it was pointless do Ethiopian Diet the weeks leading up to T-gives. Not to mention that there were no Lily-friendly foods at our table. I don't eat pork. And freaking people in my family decide "well 2010 Thanksgiving is ALL PORK-GIVING". Gee, thanks. Assholes. So I ate nothing but mashed potatoes and arroz con gandules (which threw me for a loop, I didn't know I was now Puerto Rican).

So let's start over.

Egg white omelette for breakfast. GO!

TBM says: I assume when you say what not, you mean vodka...and seriously, no pork?  What other reason do we have to shamble along through this meaningless triviality called life then to consume mass quantities of smoked, baked, or fried pork?

Lily Says: yeah no pork. pork = gross. I hate the way it smells when it's being cooked.

Stupid Face-Breeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeead AKA Bret says: bad memories of when your older cousin made you do horrible things to him while cooking up some pig?

 

Oh, and this week has really made me open up my eyes about this blog.  I think instead of weight loss it should turn into a celebration of being fat.

Lor says: It certainly isn't a celebration. I mean, we all enjoy food, sex and some of us even like booze, but I'm not sure anyone is thrilled about being overweight. 

We feel bad for our ways, Bret. I mean, I do. You might be happy. Does this mean you have sausage in your mouth again?

The Leftovers are Finally Gone

TBM Says:


So, Thanksgiving wasn't really that bad...all carbs considered.  What really hurt was the time I missed in the gym.  I could really tell the difference.  My joints were stiff and most of my meager muscles were really sore for most of the week.

We started out saying that we would go down to the beach and take a walk everyday.  For the dogs...  That didn't happen.  The thought never really crossed my mind actually.  Faced with a PS3 and a comfy chair my memory lapsed and I played Red Dead Revolver instead.

At least my thumbs got a workout...

Lily Says: 

So your thumbs had a good week. *yawn*

The Fantastical Flaccid Fish Says: 

I'd love to make fun of all of you...but I have had a horrible week, so I will hold my pumpkin pie covered tongue. 

Lorraine Says: 

You know that actually explains all the silence. I think none of us really feel entitled to cut anyone down. That, plus, I'm sure some of your mouths are still full. 

I'm of course referencing pie. 

RIP Turkey Day

Witless says:
I guess I get the wonderful privilege of being the first fail post of the week.  I'm sure we'll all have horror stories of various degrees, which will probably start a horrible spiral until Christmas. (Except for maybe Lor, who I think might already be dead).

This week was rough, but not as bad as I expected it to be, really.  We visited my Dad in the Fried Belt AKA the south, where you can even get your butter deep fried (no, really, they have it here at fairs).  We ate out a lot more than we have been in the past, but for the most part I choose to have things that weren't bad for me.  I avoided fried foods for the most part, except when we went to Raising Caines, and choose healthy side items when possible or even opted for no side at all.

I did completely fall off the water wagon, drinking Diet Coke and Coke Zero almost the whole time.  And I do have to say, I actually miss non carbonated drinks.  If I don't have one for a couple of weeks, I really am ready to kill for it, but now I'm looking forward to having good water to drink (the water here is terrible tasting).

I've also completely fallen off the exercise wagon, and I really really miss it.  That's probably the biggest surprise of all.  I've felt draggy all week, and it wasn't just the turkey.  I'm ready to get back to the routine we've been building. I don't look forward to having to start all over again, but hopefully it'll get back to where I was before.

I've refused to look at the scale this week.  I'll give a numbers update next week, where I'm hoping to be where I was before we left. 

Lorraine says: 
Wait, when did I become the one who died? A girl has one bad week and you guys already kill her off.

I'm really excited to be on this side of Thanksgiving. Sure, Christmas is around the corner, but my family will be out of town and I feel like that'll be a much more manageable hurdle. I feel all icky after this last week. My body is rebelling against the calories and -shock- soda.

I'm not dead though. I'm still alive and in this. And soon enough I'll be back in spirits to declare myself as the winner. As for now, I'm gonna go decide whether I want to gym or paint my nails.

Goodbye 270's (until next week)

Bret (What the Hell) Says- 


Hello all, my weekly weigh in shows me at 269-which i minus 16 so far, a 2 pound loss, which i think is collectively more than this entire pathetic group.  I'd be proud of that, but I think lily has gained 8 pounds since we started, so it really doesn't count.

First off, let me point you here... http://s00permac.blogspot.com/2010/11/good-sweat.html this would be the blog of one our most (and by that I mean only) loyal readers who has written her 2nd blogging blog feature.  Essentially she is fascinated like a child watching a rat in a maze about our continuing evolving thoughts on weight loss, and offers some possibly helpful tips on how to stay healthy.  I say possibly because I believe she is a smoker, which means that she will stay fit, trim, and healthy until she succumbs to lung cancer in 3 months.  For those who go ahead and read, please note that her 1st point is the essence of my entire diet.  I'm not counting calories.  I'm doing healthy foods and portion controls.

Also, I did my biggest weight loss secret of all this week:  I got my hair cut.  My hair was getting pretty long, and I cut it really short, so i think that was a tenth of a pound in my favor.  If I could lose a tenth of a pound every time I pay 15 dollars, I'd be all over it.  The fast food alone would make me skinny.

OK here is my other dirty little secret:  I have the Wii Fit.  Now, the Wii Fit sucks as an exercise tool (oh look!  after setting up the game, listening to the instructions for a minute, waited for the timer to count down, and watched the post game graphics of my wii celebrating, I burned 2 calories!), however it is GREAT as a weight tracking tool.

For instance, my likely broken scale, the one that I use to tell you my weight here, goes only by half pounds.  That alone is demoralizing.  If you have to lose half a pound to see progress, that means you can work hard for a few days before a scale even tells you anything.  And I know that you aren't supposed to look at a scale every day, but I also know that I will never STOP looking.  So shut up.

Any"weigh" besides that fact I've noticed my scale doesn't really go in half pounds.  It goes in pound "sections".  So all week I watch my scale bounce between 271.5 and 269 and I hope and pray that it ends on 269 so I can say I lost weight.  (Actually today it bounced between 267 and 269, which means I know that according to that scale, I will NEVER weigh 268).

The Wii fit though, tells you BMI to the 2nd decimal, and weight to the first.  So when I measure myself daily I can see some sort of change, and that's what really drives me forward.  Especially in this tough holiday season when cookies are everywhere and softball is over.  I started a workout plan that has been successful so far, but I fully believe only because I can see the daily fluctuations of my body on the wii fit to constantly inspire or shame me.

Which leads me to this place, which has honestly been successful in doing the same thing.  Knowing that if I quit dieting means that I either have to 1)report weight gain here or 2) publicly quit a lorraine-like failure keeps me looking at each week as a goal.  It's been very good in keeping me driving towards small goals and focusing at the task on hand for the long run, that is, up until I quit in a few weeks.

Anyway, everyone out here have a Happy Thanksgiving, I am quite certain that this next week will be an absolute blogging blobs disaster.  And I'm looking forward to it.

Lily Says-

I'm not even going to pretend I read anything past Chole's post mention. So whatever your said, "Bret" is a moot point. Happy thanksgiving. I'm off to celebrate when the cowboys killed the indians. 

Witless Says-

I'm still amazed at the crazy tricks we try to say we've lost weight. Really, Tricky, hair? It's only a matter of time before someone orders a tapeworm from China or something.
I can't say I'm surprised you have a Wii, that fits in perfectly with my mental image of you.
Prepare for the fail and happy Thanksgiving.

Closet Homo Says-

A Wii fit?  Really?  I suppose you do require negative feedback in order to opperate by normal human standards.  Only in this wonderfully obese country could we justify playing a video game as exercise, but I'm almost proud that you haven't swallowed that pill...like a box of Zebra cakes.

Bret Says-

I'm just amazed that all of you have responded.  Well, not all of you, but who expected Lor anyway?  I'm sure she doesn't want to type with turkey carcass and gravy dripping from her fingers as she forgoes silverware for being "too slow."

After Thanksgiving. Honest.

Lorraine Says: To sum up my week: FAIL.

 

There is no lying to you, to the diet gods, to the Ethiopians or to my scale who remained unmoved and might have even rolled its eyes at me.

 

This week was a diet fail. I wasn't even trying. Yeah, yeah, two or so weeks in and I sort of gave up. I have a Play-doh will and dandelion self-control. I've been surrounded by friends and family this past week and all anyone wants to do is flippin' eat. It's not even Thanksgiving yet and I'm in charge of making all the dessert. Do you see where I'm going with this?

 

Anyways, I did at least learn a lesson from my fall from diet victory this week: I need to get back to the gym. Just cutting out zebra cakes isn't going to help me reach my goal. Plus, I obviously haven't cut zebra cakes, I just started buying the Christmas tree ones. I have the least amount of weight to lose and really a lot of it is tightening up the flab. The gym will be my best friend.

 

After Thanksgiving.


Lily Says: For some reason, I anticipate Bret or whatever his new name is, making this about him. *Sits and waits*

Are you making homemade zebra cakes for dessert? Or are you going to just place unwrapped zebra cakes on a tray?


Lorraine Says: I wish that would fly! Unfortunately, the stuff I'll be baking will be much, much worse than zebra cakes.


Tricky Fish Says: Well thank you for that intro lily, I just read it after my 45+ minute walk with my girlfriend.  During this walk I also did not eat any zebra cakes.  Of course that's enough about me.

Lor, don't think of your week as a fail.  Think of it as a win.  You win the most pathetic award.  You write with 4 different people that are way larger than you, and yet you are the worst at controlling your eating habits.  That's really something.

Just think, as you get older and your metabolism gets worse and you start getting really big you can get on disability and make the government deliver chocolate to your house for FREE.

I see a bright future for you.  Bright in the sense that you will one day fly in an airplane that cannot support your mass and the ensuing wreckage will light up the night sky.  I hear fat is very flammable.

Happy Thanksgiving.  I hope you eat a thigh bigger than your own. 

Lily Says: I'm trying to mentally prepare for the amount of food that will be presented to me on Thursday, AKA: Kill a Turkey Day, or the day the Pilgrims killed the Indians in the first basketball game.

I lost another stupid pound.

Just one. WTF. This is what happens when I go out drinking. Though I haven't ate all week, I'll decide to drink those calories, get super  shit faced and feel like shit the next morning.

I hope the Turkey Gods help me not overeat turkey.

Tricky Fish Says: I don't know what you are complaining about with this only lost a pound stuff.  In a normal week you gain what, 12 pounds?  I think losing a pound is pretty darn good for you, even though it's the equivalent of bear having a mole removed.

Lorraine Says: Maybe it's all the promise of mass amounts of food, but I've been out of form lately. As much as I would love to pick on Lily for being a lush or for only losing a pound or I dunno, that booze-stained shirt I love so much, I'm just so happy about food. REAL FOOD. Turkey. And maybe even some drink that isn't water. And OMG, did I mention FOOD?

 

Obviously, I'm distracted.

 

Now, what is Tricky babbling about? He wants to eat Bear and have a mole removed?

 

FOOD. 

Witless Says: Thanksgiving is glorious!

Do you want to hear my healthy living compromise for Thursday?  We're only having sugar free chocolate pie for dessert.  No pumpkin, no pecan, just one dessert.

Hey, we all have to start somewhere, right?

TBM Says: Personally I feel like the whole no pumpkin pie thing is bullshit.  Pumpkins are super healthy after all.

A slight change of plan

So this week the Wife and I are on vacation, visiting my father in-law and in all honesty I've completely forgotten about my post until just now.  As such I'll be diverging from our regular format and forgoing the mockery.  Or at least the mockery I suffer in the actual post itself.

By all means you guys feel free to fire away in the comments.

So I've been eating pretty good and I've gone to the gym everyday up till Friday which is when we left.  We met with a trainer at the gym we joined and we're now working by a plan, which actually seems to be helping.

First off the evils of circuit training...whoever invented this particular workout format is most assuredly roasting in the fires of Hell right now.  A 30 minute workout consisting of 60 second intervals of light weight lifting and cardio.  Let me tell, it's a fucking painful experience.

And then there's the damn "Arch" machine (Using "'s here because I'm not 100% sure what the thing is called.  It sounded like they said arch).  It's like a machine that makes you run a row of tires...only there's no stopping.  Just high stepping as fast as you can.  I'm not entirely sure my legs will ever feel the same again.

And last but certainly not least is the God forsaken Elliptical.  This device was obviously created by Satan himself.  It's like the "Arch" machine only it's really hard to go slow.  I'm not sure if I'm doing something wrong or what but it seems like I gain momentum and all of sudden I'm like sprinting and to be frank...my fat ass can't handle that shit for long.

So that's been my week.  I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to manage a workout routine while I'm away from the gym.  So far that plan has gone abysmally.  I've done nothing but sit around and play video games and watch movies all day.