Thursday, June 30, 2011

And You Doubted Me

Slightly Disappointing Says…

I told you that I’d be back.

Of course, I didn’t expect it to be quite this soon.  Yeah, that’s right, I’ve successfully gotten myself to 260.  Actually, to be technical about it I am at 259.8.  I HATE putting periods after decimals.

How am I doing it?  Sex, Martinis, and Diet Pills.

No, I’m just kidding.  I’m not some idiot girl from Chicago hell-bent on dieting all the wrong ways, killing my body, and causing myself to end up either with brain cancer or months of nonstop eating where I gain 45 pounds.  No one would be that stupid.

I can’t tell you how much being in the 250’s actually means to me.  I will grant you that my scale measures down to 2/10’s of a pound, so I’m as high in the 250’s as I can possibly get without going over, but well…

I remember over 4 years ago weighing 252 and thinking that if I just lost a pound a week I could get myself down 200.  It didn’t turn out that way.

But it’s amazing for me to think that I am this close to eliminating over 4 years of weight gain.  I can get myself back to where I was when I was 25, maybe younger.  It’s amazing to me to think of how long I have been this fat.

Still I eat healthy every day.  I exercise in some form every day.  I am running couch to 5K, though I am pathetic at it, and I look forward to every single day.

From a diet standpoint that is.  I couldn’t be more depressed about pretty much every other aspect of my life.  I need this.

And I will tell all of you, especially Bear if his fat hasn’t overtaken his eyeballs and he can still read this, that I can’t remember the last time I actually felt this healthy.  You can feel the difference of having actual healthy things inside of you after about 2 days.  You can feel the difference of losing a few pounds almost instantly.  And I know that the combination means that I feel a lot better going down to 259.8 then I possibly could have going up to 259.8 while loading myself with fast food and more fast food.  Even if your weight loss is as daunting or more than mine, even if you are still 90 pounds from being a healthy weight, and even then just barely, even if you never make it, losing just a little bit of weight can make a big difference.  Your quality of life changes with a 5 or 10 pound weight loss.

I’m still a hugely fat morbidly obese sick-o that disgusts anyone that has to lay eyes on me, but I’m better than I was, and these words get me through every day:

Hey, I’m better than bear.


  1. I'm really glad you FEEL better, because I have to tell you that these pictures aren't actually looking better...

    I bought running shoes and downloaded a couch to 5k app! I'm quite excited to push myself to brink of death. Whoop.


  2. i know, someday when i weigh 65 pounds, i will look the exact same.

  3. I'm running the couch to 5k thing, too! Er... well, I was, but then I stopped for two weeks because I saw the next week required me to run 20 minutes straight and said, "Fuck. That."

  4. Twenty minutes IS a long time, BRET. I'm sure you know that, though, as that's probably the motto of your sex life.

    Who am I kidding? What sex life? LOL.


  5. Bret, do you need a new shirt?