Live Music as a form of Exercise

TBM Says: So as an alternative to the gym, we decided to go to a concert this week.  Honestly I'm pretty sure I got a better workout there then I would have from a week at the gym anyway.  As with most conveniences in life there are a few fall backs to this approach to exercise.

1.  The Wife looks like a victim of spousal abuse.  She's got this one bruise that looks like I grabbed her by the arm and visited some unspeakable/criminal act upon her while screaming "LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"

2.  I can't hear shit.  That's right...while I'm effectively stone deaf on a normal day, the day after a concert you may as well be talking to a wall.

3.  I actually endured physical pain.  Yeah I know you get sore after a workout at the gym, but its just not the same as the ache you have after some short little bitch at a show has had her shoulder pressed into your kidney the entire fucking night.

And on top of all of this I pretty much ate like shit.  We had to drive all the way to Houston for the show and that means 1 thing...Fast food for breakfast, lunch and a little more for dinner.  On the bright side I must be some what successful in this whole dieting thing in that my stomach threw a revolt against its Double Quarter Pounder oppressor.  Instead of the Ethiopian diet I'm now on the patented Bret's Anal Purging Diet.

Its no fun.

Bret Says: It may be no fun, but it certainly works. Having things quickly and violently leave your anus must be your version of opposite day.  Also, I had no idea a Bieber concert could be so violent...

Tell the Wife I said to have a romantic and amorous Valentines day, and to text you when she is coming home.

TBM Says: Damn it Bret...I was going for the whole no Valentine's Day post.  Way to fuck things up...again...today.

Lily Says: Bret always fucks things up. That's nothing new. Plus I mean, his valentines day is spent with a blow up doll that can't read. 

Who did you see Bear? someone good?

Bret's anus diet just killed my appetite. Both for food and sex.  

Lorraine Says: Could anything be less romantic than booty dribble? I think not.

 

It doesn't bother me, though, because I'm the only single blob. So, I mean, if Bret is spending it inflating his doll, and Bear is spending it on the toiler, leaving Wife alone to nurse her spousal abuse bruises, and if Lily is now talked out of sex, this all makes me feel better.

 

Happy Valentine's Day indeed.