Thursday, February 3, 2011

Technology Cannot Handle Me


OK, let me try this again...

I wrote this last week, and accidentally only sent it to Lily, whom naturally did not respond.  I resent it later to everyone, but it was too late for me to post, so I asked Lor to do it with me.  She agreed.  Then she failed to ever post it.  Because she is a bitch.

So I will try this again, since I'd like to start a slide show of progress...and dare my fellow blobs to join in.  As a side note, next week is my 29th birthday and I think it'd be just swell if I weighed 100 pounds less when I turn 30.  That's the goal.  I think I can do it too, so long as i am motivated, confident, committed, have a good support group, also have this bad support group, and get a few parasites along the way.

Here we go...

Attached is a picture of me yesterday--at 275.  Still 10 down, but also 10 up from around Christmas.  It's depressing, and I'm hoping to do a weekly photo to watch the progress.  Like all good photos I wanted to look as sad as possible for the first one, because, well, that's how these things are done.

Here is the sad truth that you can't see.  That was after I ate Panda Express, and during me having some massive chest pains.  It is also in a shirt that should drape down over my pants relatively easily, and yet I'm not sure it can tuck in.  I miss that shirt fitting.  It did a few weeks ago.

So today I started the dedicated eating healthy and exercising thing again, after some of the most stressful work weeks I've ever experienced.  It feels like starting over, even though technically it isn't.  It feels awful.

Of course worst of all is that I am several pounds heavier than Bear.  Now, sure, a good 2 pounds can be attributed to my bigger penis, however I still have work to go.  Since he seems like he is enjoying plateauing along with his current workout plan, which seems to be sex once a week, I have no doubt that I will be back on top faster than his wife will be.  For now though, I lay down my Big Mac.  You sir have won.  So far.

Next week though?  Next week this shirt is going to fit a little bit better.


I don't remember you sending me anything. 
But anywho... stop eating Pandas. They're endangered and we need them for the future. 
Your picture doesn't show. Are you sure you didn't eat it? 


I assumed the pic was so huge it couldn't fit on my phone screen. Was waiting to try and open it on the tv.


I'm on my laptop. Hmmm.... Bret, stop breaking things. 


See, last week when Bret asked me to post for him, the picture did load and it did break something: my will to live. Bret's fat assness made me not post it. Obviously.


I believe that. I don't think my laptop screen is big enough to fit Bret. womp womp. 
How big is your screen, Lor?





Mac crashed. :( 


If I do this picture thing there will be significantly less clothing. All your computers will be healed.


Bret you look uber sad. Is someone keeping Panda from you?


O.K.  I'm going to give you all real pleasure and show you a picture of me my junior year of High School...


5 comments:

  1. Just wanted to let you all know that I clicked on here to see the final product and the 275.jpg? NOT LOADING. LOL. Bret broke the interwebs.

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  2. Can anyone see this? I can. I would hate to deprive the Internet of my figure.

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  3. I can see them now. Now that I'm on like a projection tv.

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  4. wow i love the photos!!!!!!!!!!!!! awesome!!!!!!!!!! bret, i had assumed you were much, much fatter than this. also, i dont think that posting a picture of you with your hand up a dolls rear is doing much for your "my girlfriend is not a blow up doll" case.

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  5. Yep, pictures are coming in loud and clear.

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