Lorraine Says: Contrary to popular belief, I am not dead. I am, however, still fat. Or, even fatter than I was last time we talked. I HATE THE HOLIDAYS.
See, I was right with Bear on the whole disease kick, except I wasn't playing WoW and losing weight. I was sleeping for days straight, only waking to eat large holiday dinners, gorge on holiday desserts and then go back to sleep, ensuring that all that food would become evil fatty deposits very quickly.
Disease did not work in my favor. The Ethiopians have fooled me.
All that sleeping and not being able to breathe properly and being out of town (and did I mention sleeping?) explains my disappearance and the fact that I'm +2 pounds at today's weigh in.
I can't tell you where my motivation went. It's easy to blame the holidays, but I was feeling it before then. The effort of it all was getting to me, so I took a break from caring for a week. This week, I'm wondering how to start caring again.
Call me some names people. Tell me how fat I am. Unmotivate me, dammit.
I guess I'm pretty much starting 2011 back at square one.
Hi. I'm Lorraine. I'm obssessed with chocolate. I'd ideally like to lose 20 pounds. I suck at this dieting thing.
Nice to meet you. Let's start again.
Lily Says: Zebra cakes are in the mail.
Bear Says: You stole my line Lily...
Lily Says: You can send chocolate. Is dark chocolate okay, Lor?
Lorraine Says: I don't know whether to punch you all in the teeth or wait by the mailbox. Whatever. If you send me chocolate, Lily is getting vodka and Bear is getting fried Halloween candy in totillas.
Lily Says: That will work for me. Rivers of vodka <3
Lorraine Says: This is some bullshit. A girl puts weight on around here and she isn't even teased or anything. All of you need to recover. Seriously. I can't tell me maybe we're too... happy? Maybe we need to be more miserable. Someone go pop Bret's inflatable girlfriend, I'll steal Bear's WoW, Wife will be miserable while trying to console Bear and then she can go steal Lily's vodka.
Please do all of the above and consult me in a week when you are ready to insult me like big boys and girls. How am I ever going to lose weight again if you don't?
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