Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Tuesday... Blah.

Lily Says:  So... 

Cardio = WIN
Food = WIN
Weight loss = WIN
Workout = Lose. 

In this little campaign of ours, I have learned that soda is really bad. Not only have I stopped drinking the carbonated delight, I am prohibiting anyone around me from drinking it. That means, when I go out to lunch with my friends on a school day, I tell them "hey fucking whores, stop drinking fucking Coke ya bitches". And they oblige. 

I no longer feel as bloated. 

I mean, I'm still fat... but all the carbonation makes me feel fatter. Now, I feel like a normal fat person, rather than a fat fat person. If that makes sense? If it didn't let me break it down.. I feel human, I don't feel like Bret. 

The next thing I plan to cut out entirely is caffeine, but I know that I would probably go on a murderous rampage. What? I love coffee. 

TBM Says:  I'm not really sure why we should cut caffeine out of our diets.  Lor mentioned this before and I must be misinformed on the whole caffeine topic.

I thought the shit would raise our metabolism and thus cause us to burn more calories?  Now I'm also using Splenda to sweeten my coffee and tea, but I'm pretty sure it's the gobs of sugar you're adding to your coffee and not the caffeine itself that's causing your ENORMOUS ass.

Wife Says:  They tell alcoholics not to quit smoking or go on a diet while sobering up, so I'd put caffeine in that same category.  Why make it harder on yourself than it already is?

No Wee-Wee Says:  That's what she said?

Lily Says:  Wife: I don't think it's harder. Maybe I can just yell at my friends. Like "yo bitches, stop drinking coffee around me you fucking heifas... go eat a baby hippo" or some random insult like that.
 
Bret... I don't even know what to say, Dolphin. 


No comments:

Post a Comment