Lorraine Says: Today, I've decided not to cry over how I'm not as cool as these other blobs who are spending their days playing video games and using apps to calculate how fat they are, though I'm sure looking in a mirror would help as well.
Today, I'm just going to complain about this really old school concept, back from the days when we started this blog and wanted to lose weight and look like Ethiopians: the gym.
Here's my problem this week, I'm finding, in my quest to be even skinnier than you bulbous bitches: fitting the gym into my schedule. Of course I'd find all this "get up and go" motivation the same week I start school again. Maybe there is just something about being 24 and deciding to go back to school that makes you feel you'd rather be at the gym. Regardless, I have significantly less time after work and the gym just isn't fitting as nicely as I'd like.
So, last night, I basically decided that if Gym and I were going to remain on a first name basis, I was going to have to start seeing him first thing in the morning. This is almost like that time I convinced myself I should stop eating chocolate.
Basically, I like to sleep. I start work at 8:30am and wake up at 8:45am daily. My bosses love it, I'm sure. This whole "waking up early to work-out" thing is going to be difficult for me. Then again, I only ever have to do it once a week, and I'll still have all of you beat.
There's this week's new goal. Oh, and also, buy a new scale. No. Seriously. For real this time.
The Bear Monk Says: Morning gym? Are you really going to feed us that line of bullshit? Thought about trying a gym that's open 24 hours a day? Then you could hit the gym after you're done with your street walking. Hell I'm betting street walking would be some pretty decent cardio as you're clearly not getting any of the other kind of "cardio".
Why don't you grab another chocolate bar and a zebra cake and drown your sorrows with a tall glass of beer?
Oh and as a side note...good luck shopping for a scale that will lie to you in a more satisfactory manner.
Lorraine Says: My gym is open 24 hours, but after the work, school, and street walking, really I'm all tuckered out. As you can imagine.
Don't make any comments on how much "cardio" I'm getting. We all know the only reason you get any is because you tricked the Wife into marrying you and now she's stuck. Oh, and because Bret won't stay away from your asshole.
Also, my current scale seems to think I'm skinnier than I think I am. I don't need lying to. I need truth!
Bret the wee-wee-less wonder says: I still say all the workout you need is a pee-wee football team and a jar of Vaseline. Isn't that how you were conceived???
Lily Says: Are we not using No-Wee-Wee's scale anymore????
Lorraine Says: Bret, you are confusing the story of how I was conceived with where you've been since the start of the year. And Lily, I'm determined to use an accurate scale. No-Wee-Wee can keep convincing himself he's losing weight on the "Chee diet."
No comments:
Post a Comment