Wurst Diet Ever

So we've picked what could be considered the worst possible weekend to start a diet, or to even start considering a healthy lifestyle.  Here in San Antonio we have a strong German background.  Surprising I know...but the Latino population doesn't have the only predominate culture in the area.  

This weekend was the opening of Wurst Fest.  A local festival celebrating, you guessed it, the bratwurst.  And of course no bratwurst festival is complete with out beer vendors pouring the best German and German inspired brews around.  As a man I have a deep seeded love for both beer and brats and so I most definitely couldn't pass up the chance to gorge myself on the fair.

And as if God wasn't mocking me enough...yesterday's Halloween festivities were all about the food.  We went and picked up a bunch of candy, just in case we had any trick or treaters and of course we snacked on our fair share of the bounty.  And then there was the premiere of The Walking Dead.  AMC's new show about the zombie apocalypse...as if there'd be any other kind of apocalypse.  We decided to head up to the Alamo Drafthouse, easily my favorite place to go in the city, and of course we got a nice big bowl of popcorn covered with a vat of butter and salt and some more nice cold beers to wash it all down.  All told an awesome evening to be sure.

Well...maybe not considering my diet.

Strangely enough though, I've managed to lose about 6 pounds.  Having not exercised or eaten anything that would even vaguely resembles health food, I'm pretty much flabbergasted to say the least.  Maybe I should take my fat ass to the beer store more often.  Is that the hidden secret to the Ethiopian diet?  The world may never know...

Bret Says: Do you even know what predominate means?  It's the one with the MOST.  So just how many cultures in your area have the MOST influence?  12?  31?  Your lack of word definition knowledge makes me want to puke, which in turn should help my diet.  That's my way of thanking you.

Let me also say that it doesn't surprise me in the least that you cannot resist having a bunch of sausages in your mouth.

 I assume you lost you 6 pounds from "wurst" excitement that had your heart pounding all week, and a series of "wurst" related wet dreams.

Your ease of losing weight sickens people like me whose only goal is to gain weight at a slower rate.  Maybe this week you should step it up by doing something more physical, like ordering takeout. 

Lorraine Says: Seriously? This is how we're starting? With an "oh yeah, ABOUT that diet..." post? I mean, honestly, it's not like I'm doing much better, but at least I'm not effin' Monday. 

And while we're being honest, I did the mental math: lots of sausage + lots of beer - 6 pounds = the runs. 

I carried the one and everything and clearly it's the only logical explanation. Forget the Ethiopian diet. If your love of consuming mass amounts of gross sounding food is any indication, you are on the Painful Shits diet. 

I am so sorry. I hope things get better.

Bret Says: Lor, I believe it is called "The Self Induced Flu."

I knew TBM was going on the Ethiopian diet, I just figured he meant that the was going to experiment with famine, drought, foreign invasion, and general unattractiveness.

Now I see he means he is going to actually eat Ethiopians...

This seems wildly inhumane.  Ethiopians should not be eaten.  Ethiopians should be given the life choice of starving to death, or selling their women into prostitution for a few grains of rice.  That's what Jesus would want.

(I don't think we are going to get very many Ethiopian readers)

TBM Says: The thing about San Antonio is that for the most part it seems to be more of a collection of neighborhoods then anything.  Each neighborhood has it's own cultural distinction, and as such I find it personally difficult to determine which culture is truly the predominate one.  So I guess I should have said major cultures instead.  Ya know what though...go suck a sausage Bret.  I swear...it's very satisfying.

And Lor...how did you know?!?!  I mean holy shit...literally...I haven't been able to keep that to myself all weekend.

Lorraine Says: If this weekend's meat-fest is any indication, maybe TBM has the "foreign invasion" part of the Ethiaopian diet down.

I'm not sure what Jesus would in fact say about eating Ethiopians but we all know what Jesus thinks about men who put a lot of sausage in their mouth.

Lily Says: Ummm... I know what I'm getting TBM for Christmas... a dictionary! You ate lots of sausage and lost 6 lbs... that sounds hella wrong. In like more ways than one.

Also, does my font look fat?

Stay tuned for more updates folks.