You're doing what to my what???

Witless Exposition says:
I feel I'm in good company with Lil. I lost one pound as well (we can talk about celebratory drinks later). I really haven't done much beside run out of Halloween candy and caught up on housework.

I do feel bad about making fun of Bret now, though, (OK, not really, but I sort of feel bad for not feeling bad...maybe?) because I'm about to do what he's been doing: blame my family.

But at least I'm blaming all of them and not singling them out. I'm blaming genetics. Tomorrow I'm going to an endocrinologist to see if I have PCOS, poly cystic ovarian syndrome.  So I read up on it and guess what the number one symptom is?

Fatassitis.

Yup, I might actually have a gland problem making me fat!!

But where it gets fuzzy is that one of the main things you can do to treat it is to "loose" weight.

Vicious bitch of a cycle.

So while looking at the treatments, I was thinking, "OK, this doesn't sound so bad." But then I got to the last couple of treatments, one of which is OVARIAN DRILLING!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, for the record, I don't want anyone drilling my ovaries, except for Jason Statham...and TBM, or course.

So with that in mind, I joined the fatass gym (aka Planet Fitness) and am going to try and get on the ball. The last thing I want is to not do my part to get better and then have to resort to Ovarian Drilling...

Unless Jason calls that is.

Lorraine says:
Wife, I know all too well what you're going through. I also suspect that I have PCOS, and it's where all my effed-up body problems stem from. And yep, fatassitis certainly is on that list.

I, however, hate doctors. HATE. As much as I love chocolate? That's how much I hate doctors.
Or... let's see... you know how much I hate Bret? I hate doctors just a little less than that.

After a round of the vag doctor sending me to an endocrinologist who sent me back to a vag doctor who decided I needed a super special vag doctor, I took a little break from trying to figure out what was wrong with me. And from all the rape.

I, however, didn't know about ovarian drilling which makes the medical rape seem less daunting. I'll call my doctor tomorrow.

She'll be happy to know, I'm sure, that I'm working on the fattassy part of it already! Complete with a non-support group.

"I have this whole group of people doctor, who mention Zebra Cakes at every turn, who rhyme my name with whore, who are racist against my colors and who wish me no luck at all. It's amazing."

Yup.

Lily says:
Yay! ONE POUND CLUB!

I suspect there some ovary issue in me too... but, much like Lor, I dislike doctors. And why go to a doctor when I can go to a witch doctor and get the evil spirits slapped out of my body with palms?! Right?

Bret says:
Wow, I'm thinking I need to get my vag checked out to see if it's making me fat.

Oh, and if ovarian drilling worked, Lor would be 75 pounds. Ever read one of her blog posts? "So back when I was sleeping with this guy..."

Lorraine says:
I've met you Bret, and the first thing I thought was, "this guy has a vagina."

In fact, soon after returning home from visiting Bret, one of my friends who won't be named asked me if perhaps you played for the all-sausage team and didn't quite know it yet.

Lor: He has a girlfriend. They've been dating for a few years.
Friend: YEAH, that's the not knowing it part...

I know you aren't gay Bret. Maybe only for Bear.

Plus, you totally tried to sleep with me. Have you guys ever noticed how concerned Bret is about who I sleep with? It's because I totally turned his advances down. I knew, even then, that sleeping with Bret wouldn't help my cause as that would've been something akin to ovarian tickling.

Lily says:
In the words of all my ghetto friends... "DAMN BRET, YOU JUST GOT TREATED". But yeah, we should all take a Blogging Blobs field trip to the OB/GYN office place death bed. Lor, W, Bret and me. And then TBM can pick us up and tell us we're all going to be okay.

TBM says:
I am supportive like that.