Hell is Never Losing Weight

Lorraine Says: I've lost my will to diet. I don't even know what else to say other than that. It's like I need a diet nap. I'm a bit exhausted, a bit disillusioned, and a lot in love with free holiday cookies at work. 'Tis the season.

I hopped on my stupid, defective, inconsistent and poorly made Scale of Random Numbers this morning (no, I still haven't bought a new one...) and it told me I was still squarely where I was last time I checked like two weeks ago. I'm not surprised. To make matters all worse, here comes Christmas.

Actually, this Christmas won't even be so bad. I think perhaps Santa gifted me with the best possible way to do the least amount of holiday dinner damage: Our family will be going to Orlando to spend the weekend there.

See, usually we celebrate on the 24th with a ginormous family dinner followed by waiting for midnight to open gifts. And by "waiting for midnight" I obviously mean "nibbling on every snack available in order to pass the time more quickly."

Christmas is bad.

But! Since we'll be out of town, Christmas dinner will be downgraded from ginormous to simply big. Also, snacking will be limited as no one wants to pack the amount of food we usually consume. See? It's a Christmas miracle.

Can you all just call me after the New Year too? I'm pretty sure that's what the Ethiopians do, anyways.

Little Tiny Bret Says: Even Ethiopians feast at Christmas.  The roast the bones of the famine dead loved ones that died the previous month.  For desert they have the almost dead.

The Wife Says: We're going to hell for this.  Well, maybe just Bret. The rest of us will get time in purgatory or something.

 Lorraine Says: I'm pretty sure we'll all be skinny in hell. Or maybe hell is never eating but still being fat.

Noooooooooo...!!