Thursday, December 9, 2010

I Either Get To Be Social or Skinny

Lorraine Says: It seems I've returned to some sort of normally scheduled programming. AKA, I've finally forgotten all the turkey I ate, and hopefully after a very good week, so has my body.

I say hopefully because I still don't want to get on the scale. I'm holding out hope for next week, but for now, I can only report that no boxes of zebra cakes were devoured in the making of this post. VICTORY.

Anyways, it's time for my difficulty of the week. Yeah, yeah, I mostly use these posts to complain about diets but whatever. It's sort of the point. Plus, despite an otherwise good week, I thought of something as typed this up and my stomach began growling at me angrily.

I'd like to say that I'm an emotional eater, but that's not entirely true. I mean, if I'm sad or bored or whatnot, I'll go for chocolate (duh) but not really food, food. I rarely crave things. I sometimes forget to eat. I only eat when I'm hungry.

Now, that might seem like an okay thing, but I'm talking about only eating when I'm really, really hungry. I just don't have a thing for food, so it isn't until my stomach is burning and grumbling that I think, "you know what? I should eat." Then, at that point, get me around food and I'm just gonna stuff my face.

I eat faster than my brain can process it all and tell my stomach it isn't ravenous anymore. I eat past the point of full. I'm not really an expert, but something tells me this is doing it wrong.

Since the start of this diet, I've been trying to correct this behavior - to eat because I have to and not because I want to. I've tried to put myself on a schedule.

I'll be honest that it hasn't always worked. Sometimes I still forget to eat. Like last night's dinner. At this point, the last time I ate anything at all was 24 hours ago.

I'll end this post now, and try not to eat a small island. Or all the Ethiopians. Or Bret's sausage.

I don't think I'll ever be THAT hungry.


Wifey-Poo Says: I know what you mean.  I have to force myself to eat breakfast every morning (or try to at least).  Otherwise I don't eat until my sugar drops so low my head hurts and my hands are shaking. 

And then I eat everything in the house.

A schedule is a good idea, because then you'll start to recognize your body's signals easier when you get hungry.  It sounds kinda lame, but would it help if you set alarms on your phone or something?

Congrats on the no full boxes of zebra cakes!


The Bear Monk Says: I've been pretty successful at adhering to a schedule myself.  It's all about being in a place and getting into a habit.  First thing I do when I get to work is fix myself oatmeal and a coffee.  At 11 I go to lunch and at 2-3 I have a 100 calorie pack of popcorn.  After that we just have dinner after the gym.

I always find it helpful to associate 1 action with another to help keep me on track.

Having said that...my eating schedule on the weekend is completely fucked.  I rarely wake up early enough for a normal breakfast and if I do I'm likely gaming while the Wife is sleeping in.  And then there's the urge to go out.  The Wife is cooped up the whole week at the house while I'm at work so she wants to go out and as we all know it's a real bitch to eat right at a restaurant.  Especially here in San Antonio. 

It's a love hate relationship I have with this city.


Lorraine Says: I feel better knowing I'm not the only one who has to be mindful about an eating schedule. I suppose this means I should clear out all my "eat chocolate now" alarms out of the phone and add in "eat oatmeal, BOOOO" alarms. Hmmph.

Also, the eating out thing is big with me. Catching up with my best friends happens over dinner. Conversations with co-workers happen over lunch. Dates happen over dinner.

Do I have to chose between being social or being skinny?


Wifey Says: This is kinda the million dollar question isn't it? I guess it's just a matter of making difficult choices about what to order and maybe beinng more creative when it comes to the social stuff.  No easy answer, I'm afraid.


Lorraine Says: Unless you are Bret and don't have a social life. Why is he fat again?


Wifey Says: Don't know where this image came from, but I just pictured Bret on a date with a woman made of sausage.
Could that be the answer?


Bear Says: Oh and lets think about eating Bret's sausage for 1 second, there's no way in hell anything that small would be satisfying anyway.


Small Sausage Bret: Wow, I got a lot of press for a post I hadn't even written in.

Seriously though Lor, it seems like if your emotions get the best of you and ends up causing you to stuff your face with anything you can find, then the only possible solution is for you to get a boyfriend.  Then you can stuff your face whenever you want, but it will be a low calorie workout instead.  Of course, to be fair to him you should find someone that already suffers from Herpes so they don't get a nasty surprise in the future.  Oh, and they should be blind. 


Lorraine Says: If by "press" you mean, "let's all point and laugh at Bret the sausage lover when he isn't around" then yes! What a whole lot of press!

And if by if by the rest of that you mean "I hit on Lorraine and have propositioned her multiple times and may have even tried to rape her but she keeps turning me down and/or running for her life so now I must make fun of her and call her easy and ugly and herpes infected," then I see where you are going.

And to that I say: the answer is still no Bret. As Bear said, not a very satisfying sausage. And Bear knows his sausage.

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